The memetic virus scanner
Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
- Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
- Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
- Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
- CTRL-Break, and get a real computer.
Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
- Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
- Free BSD
- The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Viruses you might suffer from:
- Amiga (70%)
- Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
- 8-Bit (90%)
- Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
- Religion (60%)
- Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
- UNIX (75%)
- Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
- Brand Names (65%)
- Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
- X11 (85%)
- I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
- Computer Games (75%)
- Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
- Hippyism (60%)
- Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
- Environmentalism (63%)
- Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
- Macintosh (80%)
- Use a mouse with more than one button.